99: "Socialization" Is Overrated: Here’s What Homeschoolers Really Need

One of the biggest things new homeschool parents fear is: What about socialization?

You might picture your child going from a classroom full of kids every day to suddenly sitting alone at the kitchen table, cut off from the world.

And that image probably feels isolating and maybe even a little scary.

But here’s the truth: that will set you free: socialization is overrated.

What kids really need is something deeper, something more lasting, and something that shows up in so many different ways.

Why Parents Worry About Socialization

Before we get too deep into this topic, I just want to assure you that I get it.

When my family started homeschooling, community was the very first thing I looked for. My daughters are incredibly social, and I didn’t want them missing out on opportunities to build friendships.

And I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

One of my clients, who has an only child, started her homeschool journey with the exact same worry about her son receiving enough socialization. 

So she tried a learning pod, thinking that would be the perfect solution. But after a few visits, her son wasn’t really feeling it. The pod had a strong nature focus, which was fine, but it didn’t light him up.

What really excited him was basketball.

So they joined a local recreational league, and before long, another parent invited them to try out their travel basketball team. Now, that travel team has become his biggest source of community, and he loves it.

And here’s what I told her from the very beginning: community will come. Even if the first attempt or two isn’t the right fit, once you connect to something, it will lead to other opportunities.

Then a year later, a learning center opened up near their home, which gave him a whole new set of experiences.

That’s the beauty of homeschooling. Community doesn’t have to stem from a classroom. In fact, it almost never does.

Common Myths About Homeschool Socialization

Let’s break down some of the biggest myths I hear all the time about homeschool and socialization. 

❌ Myth #1: Kids need a classroom full of same-age peers to be "socialized".

✅ Truth: Schools group kids by age and zip code, but that’s convenience, not real connection.

Homeschooling, on the other hand, gives you the freedom to help your kids find peers in ways that align with their passions and interests.

It’s not about being overbearing and controlling how/where your kids find friends; it’s about being intentional and putting them in situations where they're more likely to "find their people".

Remember, my client’s son found his friends through basketball. And my daughter has found her besties in theater. Your child might bond with peers over a love of STEM, art, or coding.

Those shared-interest friendships are often the ones that last a lifetime.

❌ Myth #2: Homeschoolers are sheltered and lonely.

✅ Truth: Homeschool kids often interact with a much wider variety of people, which actually builds stronger social skills.

 Think about it: homeschoolers are in co-ops, sports teams, church groups, music lessons, community events, etc.

And their world isn’t limited to just their classmates: they're interacting with younger children, older kids, and adults, which makes them much more socially fluent than limited exposure to just same-age peers.

And here's the beauty in that: these interactions feel more natural to kids who are doing it every day.

Instead of being told when to talk, who to sit with, or when they can excuse themselves from a room, homeschoolers get to practice real-life social skills every single day.

❌ Myth #3: If kids aren’t making friends at school, they won’t have time to make them anywhere else.

✅ Truth: Homeschooling gives you more freedom to create meaningful experiences where friendships naturally happen.

Instead of being tied to a rigid school schedule, kids meet friends while exploring the world — or they can invite friends to come along.

My girls and I went on a homeschool field trip to the NASA Space Center in Houston, and we met so many new friends that day. Some of those families live in the same city where we do, and we’ve stayed in touch. I even ran into a fellow alumna from my alma mater (shout out to Spelman College!) who had brought her kids to the NASA Homeschool Day too!

And here's another example: our co-op is taking a road trip to Oklahoma to visit Native American historical sites as part of our Indigenous Peoples’ Day celebration. So yes, these are classmates that we see every week, but taking a trip together like this isn't just an opportunity to learn about history and culture; it's also a chance help kids (and parents) connect on a deeper level, in ways traditional school schedules don’t allow.

❌ Myth #4: Socialization is only about the kids.

✅ Truth: Homeschooling creates opportunities for the whole family to build community.

Moms, dads, and siblings all get the chance to form lasting friendships that make the homeschool journey richer and less isolating.

In traditional school, parent interaction often stops at drop-off and pick-up. But with homeschooling, families spend time side by side at co-ops, sports, field trips, and even casual hangouts.

Let me give you a personal example: when my best friend got married, my husband and I didn’t have an easy plan for where our girls would stay that weekend. I could have asked an aunt or cousin, but they have their own kids and busy schedules. On top of that, one of my daughters had a volleyball game that Saturday, which complicated things even more.

So I happened to be talking with a fellow co-op mom whose daughter also plays on our volleyball team, and she offered to host our girls for the weekend.

They had the best time! They went to the volleyball game, their son’s soccer match, church on Sunday, and spent hours swimming in their backyard pool.

When I returned, my girls weren’t even ready to leave. So my friend told me to pull up a chair and join them in the backyard, and it turned into such a nice weekend for both of our families!

And here's what I know to be true: that level of trust and connection would never have happened without the time we’ve spent together as homeschool families.

But that’s the kind of community homeschooling makes possible. 

Why Homeschool "Socialization" is Overrated

Our kids have plenty of opportunities to be "social". That doesn't go away just because we opt out of traditional education.

But meaningful connection is what our kids truly need.

Homeschooling doesn’t have to be lonely or isolating. In fact, it can be filled with friendships that grow out of passions, interests, and unique personalities.

And as homeschool families, we have the freedom to create environments that nurture those bonds.

Even if you’re struggling to find your people right now, don't worry: community will come.

It might not look like traditional school, and it might take some time to find the right fit. But once you find it, the connections your family makes will run deeper than you ever imagined.

If you want to build a homeschool where real community is a priority, the START Homeschooling Workshop is the perfect place to begin.

One of the lessons is dedicated to helping you create the connections your family needs to thrive. Get free, instant access now! 👇🏾